If you don’t read the “Bizarro” cartoon in your local paper, don’t start. It’s an only occasionally funny social-commentary panel drawn by animal rights activist (and vegan) Dan Piraro. Dan displays his PETA loyalties proudly in his surrealist pen-and-ink creations, with often, well, Bizarro results.

Take this one, which appeared in syndication on September 25:

See what we mean? Not funny. And also factually out in loonie-land. The American Heart Association lists a cornucopia of risk factors for strokes. So does the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. We can’t find the word “beef” or “meat” there, and we’re betting Piraro can’t either. (No one’s denying that getting your “5 servings a day” of fruits and veggies is a good way to lower your stroke risk, but most omnivores recognize that as the role of side dishes and salads—not the main course.)

On the other hand, a recent Oxford University study did link a vegetarian diet (like Piraro’s) with a higher risk of “brain shrinkage.” So as a public service to cartoonists everywhere, today we’re releasing our own attempt at visual humor:

Keep ‘em coming, Dan. We can buy digital ink by the barrel too.